Workers lied, new SOP for vice raids

PARODY (because some idiot is still going to misunderstand).

Since MOM made the claim that the crane-top workers lied about accommodations, new measures have been put in place for vice busts around the country. MOM happily gives vile, exploitative employers a WHOLE WEEK to clean up a dorm before inspecting it, so that they can then happily announce that workers’ complaints are false, and living conditions are GREAT! “They climbed the crane for no bloody reason, really, and should be thankful that they have such digs,” said an MOM officer as he reclined in his air-con office. “How dare they make claims against their awesome, respectable employers? Don’t they know that employers create jobs, and that without jobs we would all starve? Chuck them in jail for complaining.”

Perfect living conditions for slaves, er, workers.

MOM will also now require the following paperwork before entertaining future complaints:

a) the payslips that your employer didn’t give you

b) proof of overtime from the records that your employer never keeps

c) the work injury report from the doctor that your employer didn’t let you see

d) the passports that your employer illegally confiscated

e) any other documentation that doesn’t exist because MOM didn’t make laws to mandate them and wouldn’t enforce them anyway

The Singapore Police are taking a page out of MOM’s playbook now. In a bid to make themselves look good, they will now be announcing drug busts and other vice raids a week in advance. “This will give all the illegal scum enough time to clear out,” said a top cop while on his lunch break, “arrests will drop, we’ll have less paperwork to do, and residents will be assured that for that one day in the month/year, there will really be no crime in the area.”

THIS IS A PARODY (in case you like to read stuff starting in the middle).


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